Coaching

When you have lost touch with yourself along the way

Many people who consider coaching appear to function well on the outside. They work, care for others, carry responsibility and try to meet expectations. Privately, however, they may feel increasingly disconnected from themselves.

Perhaps you are used to adapting. You quickly notice what other people need, but find it more difficult to take your own wishes seriously. You may have learned that maintaining harmony, staying strong or avoiding disappointment matters more than expressing how something affects you. What may once have been an understandable way of keeping relationships safe can later leave very little room for your own choices.

Coaching can help you explore who you are, what matters to you and which beliefs or expectations restrict your autonomy. The goal is not to suddenly become a completely different person. It is to recognise yourself more clearly and make more conscious choices from that understanding.

Themes we can work on

Coaching may be helpful when you:

• Struggle with your identity or feel uncertain about what genuinely fits you
• Experience a negative or insecure self-image
• Depend heavily on reassurance from others
• Find it difficult to make independent choices
• Regularly minimise or sacrifice your own needs
• Find it difficult to say no
• Struggle to establish and maintain boundaries
• Feel responsible for other people’s emotions or problems
• Set extremely high standards for yourself
• Fear making mistakes or disappointing others
• Struggle with perfectionism, procrastination or constant doubt
• Carry significant responsibility and experience signs of overload
• Feel stuck in your work, relationships or important life choices
• Feel caught between family, cultural or social expectations
• Are navigating migration, a new stage of life or another major transition
• Want to understand why certain patterns keep returning

You do not need to recognise yourself completely in one description. People and situations are complex. During an initial conversation, we explore what currently needs the most attention.

Identity and self-image

Your identity consists of more than your work, background, family or the roles you fulfil for others. Yet it can be difficult to know who you are when you have spent a long time adapting. You may appear successful or responsible while privately feeling uncertain about your value or direction.

A vulnerable self-image does not always look like visible insecurity. It can also appear as perfectionism, constant comparison, difficulty tolerating criticism or the feeling that you must prove yourself before you are truly allowed to belong.

In coaching, we explore the images and beliefs you have developed about yourself. Which of them still support you and which now restrict you? Who are you when you no longer have to continually meet what you believe other people expect from you?

Autonomy and boundaries

Autonomy does not mean thinking only about yourself or no longer considering other people. It means remaining connected to your own feelings, values and needs while staying connected to the people around you.

Setting boundaries can be difficult when you fear rejection, conflict, disappointment or guilt. You may know that you want to say no, yet still find yourself agreeing. Afterwards, you may feel irritated, exhausted or disappointed in yourself.

We look beyond how to express a boundary more clearly. We also explore why that boundary feels so difficult, which fear or belief may lie underneath it and what you need in order to take yourself more seriously. In this way, a boundary becomes more than a rehearsed sentence. It becomes a choice that is supported from within.

Perfectionism and overload

Perfectionism can take you far. It can contribute to discipline, responsibility and quality. At the same time, that same quality can make it feel as though nothing is ever good enough. You continue improving, checking and thinking ahead while finding it increasingly difficult to rest.

Perfectionism may be connected to a fear of making mistakes, receiving criticism or not being good enough. Achievement may temporarily provide a sense of control or self-worth. When you continually demand more from yourself than you can recover from, exhaustion can gradually develop.

In coaching, we explore what your perfectionism may be trying to prevent or protect you from. The goal is not to become indifferent or abandon your ambitions. It is to perform without continually exhausting yourself and to prevent your sense of worth from depending entirely on what you achieve.

Why insight alone is sometimes not enough

You may understand very well that you need to set clearer boundaries, become less perfectionistic or take better care of yourself. Behaviour does not always change simply because you know what would be sensible.

Patterns are often connected to emotions, earlier experiences, relationships and beliefs that developed throughout your life. Coaching therefore does not focus only on practical solutions. We also explore what happens at the moment when you try to make a different choice.

What do you feel when you want to say no? Which thought appears when you allow yourself to rest? What do you expect will happen when you choose for yourself? Paying attention to these moments helps clarify why a pattern remains in place and where meaningful change can begin.

Insight is not the final destination. We translate what you discover into small, realistic steps in your daily life.

A personal approach with psychological depth

Every person has a different history, character, culture and pace. I therefore do not use one standard programme for everyone. I listen, ask questions, share what I notice and help you explore connections.

My perspective is psychodynamic. This means that I pay attention to the relationship between your current situation, earlier experiences, relationships, emotions and recurring patterns. At the same time, coaching remains focused on your daily life and the choices you want to make now.

My observations are not absolute truths. I may notice something and invite you to explore whether it feels recognisable. You decide what fits, what does not and which direction you want to take.

There is also room for humour. Humour can sometimes make difficult subjects feel lighter and easier to discuss. It is not used to minimise your experience, but to help you look at it with a little more distance and freedom.

Learn more about my approach

Start with one individual coaching session

You do not have to commit to a long-term programme. You can begin with one individual online coaching session. During that conversation, we explore what you are facing, what you would like to change and what may lie beneath your question.

The first conversation can help you:

• Clarify your question
• Recognise recurring patterns
• Separate different feelings or competing interests
• Understand a difficult choice more clearly
• Identify an appropriate first step
• Experience whether my way of working feels right for you

Sometimes one conversation provides enough clarity. If you would like to continue, we can arrange a follow-up session together. You are not automatically committed to a package or a predetermined number of conversations.

Practical information

Coaching takes place online, allowing you to join from a quiet location where you can speak freely and privately.

Each session is personally tailored to your question and situation. View our coaching packages and rates.

A first step does not need to provide the entire solution

You do not need to know exactly what is happening or where the conversation should ultimately lead. Sometimes change begins by creating space to honestly consider what you have been feeling for some time.

An initial conversation can help you gain perspective and explore which direction may suit you.

Enquire about a coaching session